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There are many factors contributing to a woman's decision to stay with, or return to an abusive partner. Often, she may feel that she has no decision-making power and is entrapped by her circumstances.
- A woman may fear for her life.
- Her partner may threaten to hurt her or kill her if she tries to leave. These risks are real. On average, between 32 and 41 women were murdered by their male partners each year in Ontario between 1974 and 1990. Women who separate from their partners faced particularly high risks of intimate femicide. The predominant motive appeared to be the offender's anger or rage over estrangement from their partners.
- A woman may be unable to move out and support herself financially.
- A woman may hope that her partner will change.
- A woman may fear the reprisals from her partner.
- A woman may feel guilt, shame and responsibility for the relationship.
- A woman may be influenced by her children's need for their other parent, the security of home, and the fear of retaliation towards the children.
- A woman may recall cultural, religious, social and family messages that blame her and hold her responsible for resolving the conflictual issues.
- A woman may fear being alone.
- A woman may fear that her partner will follow through on threats of suicide if she should leave him.
- A woman may see separation/divorce as a shameful situation.
- A woman may not have a reliable network of support.
- A woman may not have the knowledge of available resources.
- A woman may have a paralyzing sense of helplessness, believing she has no control over her own life.
Consequently, a woman may leave and return many times while working through these issues and building a greater sense of self, personal empowerment and freedom. |
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