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- Be informed and resourceful
- Listen and encourage her to talk about her feelings without judgment or advice
- Respect her confidentiality
- Know and share information about supportive community resources
- Discuss plans that will ensure her safety and the safety of her children
- Talk with her about her options; respect her right to make choices
- Don't criticize her feelings about her partner nor her choices to leave or stay
- Joint family/marital counselling does not help and must not be recommended
- Do not place yourself in danger by confronting an abusive man
- Encourage her to prepare for leaving by safely gathering
- Sentimental possessions
- Credit cards, money, bank books
- House keys
- Medication
- Children's favourite toys, clothes
- Passports, birth certificates, financial and/or citizenship papers
Give clear messages that:- She is not crazy
- Violence is never justifiable
- She does not cause abuse
- She is not to blame for her partner's behaviour
- She cannot change her partner's behaviour
DON'T- Don't question why she doesn't leave
- Don't tell what to do, when to leave or when not to leave
- Don't tell her to go back to try harder or to work things out
- Don't suggest that she stay for the sake of the children
- Don't assume that her actions caused an act of violence
- Don't assume that an outwardly kind and responsible partner isn't also abusive
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